Nothing can prepare you for losing a loved one even when you know it is their time to go. My grandmother battled brain cancer for four years. She was a strong little italian women only standing 4’11 a inch taller than myself. For the last four years she always had a smile on her face despite the fact she had cancer. She never let it ruin her life and she kept her life going for the better.
Almost a month ago my boyfriend and I went to visit my grandparents . My grandmother loved Marvin and they wanted to see him. I remember that day. She couldn’t move much because of the steroids she was on for her walking , but she made effort to sit next to us at the table. She smiled as I talked about things and just listened. I guess she was interested how we were doing.
Than we watched a movie together and Marvin and I had to leave. She was happy we came to see her and that we stopped by. We than found out later that week that she was going into hospice . For there she started to go down quick. It would have been a month this week that she was in hospice. Unfortunately she passed away October 5,2013 right in front of my eyes.
I honestly didn’t want to see her go , but knowing I had time to say my goodbyes gave me some comfort at the least. I said to her “grandma I always thought you were beautiful. I always meant that. I remember when you went to the hair salon to get your hair shaved off. I was there and you turned around and said “Do I look ugly?” I said “no grandma , you look beautiful.” I always meant that and you still are beautiful .” She than squeezed my hand , knowing that she heard me made me feel better.
When she passed , she went peacefully like she fell asleep. I honestly didn’t want to be there when she passed away because I know it would replay in my mind. I know I will have a hard time with this , but at least she wasn’t in pain and just fell asleep . We had her services wed and she looked so beautiful, like she was sleeping.
I remember my grandmother saying “when I go I want to look beautiful.” She did and she looked amazing. She was a sweet women and recently because of this week a lot of people say I look like her. I guess I got her looks and her shortness. Haha she had a amazing life and I know now she is with my brother Matthew. I can feel it deep down they are together again.
I love you grandma,RIP