My life right now

It has been going good and very busy at the moment. Sorry I haven’t been on for a while , my nephew has been keeping me busy and I feel like I’m running around with my head cut off. :/ So recently my sister is doing so great in nursing school and I’m so proud she got int o honors! She is doing so great and I love her so very much ! She is excellent and is a inspiration to other signal mothers out there. As I said i have been working with my nephew . He is such a amazing child  and so smart for his age. I love seeing how much he learns every day, I love seeing how much he plays and laughs each day. 

We usually have movie nights once a week, when I know my sister will be home late . So we were watching a movie and he put his arm around me and held my head close to his chest. He says “I love you aunt Caity.” I smiled and said I loved him too. He is only three years old and has such a warm heart (just like his mother) I can’t believe a little child has melted my heart . Before my nephew was born I NEVER wanted to have any children. I was against it and than he came along. He changed my perspective on children and how much of a joy it would be to have children in the future.

Not many people get that change in their life , but I did, He changed my life and made me realize it is worth having a family.

Thing is I finally found the one guy which I know whom I’m bound to be with for the rest of my life

My boyfriend Marvin we have been together for 2 1/2 years and quite honestly I have never felt this way in my life . He is the most amazing man I have ever dated. He is charming and I remember when I first saw him I was instantly attracted to him. that have never happened to me before in my life. It was like “love at first sight” Well no. If any of you seen the movie Hotel Transylvania ? It is like we Zinged instantly. 

I love this man so much and two days ago he just spilled his heart out to me and I started to cry. Good tears though. I only cried happliy once and that was because my brother was going into rehab. That was 13 years ago and I told him that. My boyfriend said he was sorry for making me cry , but I said “No don’t be I’m just really happy. I feel the same way about you.” I just feel like the most happiest women on the planet right now and it is like I could just shout out to the world that I found the love of my life.

 

I love him.

Just everything is great right now and I’m rolling on my poetry ebook. It is going , and I’m still being inspired and writing more. It is coming along well, but I will let you know when it will be out and ready to be published. 

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So I decided I’m going with a Pen name

It isn’t just because I hate my name. I honestly don’t want my name out there, like it is on Facebook.  I rather have a Pen name to keep my privacy, I mean sure, I’ll share my book with my family members and friends on Facebook, but I want my privacy. My boyfriend said “Well why the pen name? Your name should be out there.” I just feel if I have a Pen name my identity will be safe. I mean I still have a lot of work to do with the book, picking out which poems I want,  writing new poems,figuring out the theme of my poems. I think if I work hard on promoting it, through social media, ads, other websites, and message boards, I think I will build a good audience. I got a quarter of the way done with my promotions . 

I already got some people editing , critiquing my poems and I already got the cover done for the book. Yes, the publishing is through amazon  basically self publishing, but it doesn’t mean I’m not a writer. I’am , but I decided to self publish my stuff instead. I like seeing how the book comes to be, I like making my own covers, I like advertising my own stuff, I think it is the most amazing thing to put a book together by yourself . It shows at least commitment, and a hard work effort, even if it is a eBook, don’t you think the other writers didn’t work as hard to write a book?

Sorry for the rant, I usually do that!! haha Anyways, so what is my pen name going to be ? Well I decided what it is already, but I’m not ready to realize it on this blog. It won’t be for a while. I hope most of you will understand . I wish you all a good day!

Deciding if I should go with a Pen name? Not sure..

I’m in the works writing a book, a poetry book and I’m deciding if I want to go with a Pen name or not.I have said I always wanted a pen name, but to think I’m getting followers on here, it makes me confused. I do like my privacy. “If” my books becomes big I rather have a quite life. I mean it would be great , but I’m more about privacy than being known. Thing is if I have a pen name, that means I have to make a new blog, Facebook pages, twitter account, email, and all that other junk. I want my family to be proud of me that I’m finally getting something published (even if it is self publishing) It will make them see I’m doing something with my writing.
There is always the alternative of telling them about my pen name , but not revealing my real name in the public. I’m very confused , but I feel that I will have to do an extra step to keep my privacy Private.Any input? Comment below Please.. Thank you

Writing with a disability

I have written many manuscripts ,but never submitted any of my manuscripts to publishers. You may be asking why wouldn’t you? It is quite simple… well I’m to critical about my writing. I know I am not the best writer in the world. I have problems with English grammar. It is because of my cerebral palsy. If you are wondering what that is , I’ll give you a link below. Cerebral means it has to do with your brain.  The way I could explain my disability is when I try to learn basic ,like for instance basic English, or other subjects, my brain basically “refuses” that information.  You could teach me so many times, the same information and my brain don’t want anything to do with that information. You might think that sounds frustrating.. well it really is frustrating.

It was frustrating in college because none of my classmates knew about my disability and they wouldn’t always say my writing was horrible, well not always ,but sometimes they would. I’m not trying to say just because I have a disability everyone should be sympathetic. I don’t want that , I want people to know how hard I worked to write a certain poem or story. It should show in the work.  Despite my disability, I know I’m a very strong writer (even if I’m critical) because my poetry professor has told me many times that he believes in me. Everyone that I showed my work to,  says I’m  a good writer, so everyone verified that they believing in me. I’m glad I have support because they know I have a disability and despite that disability I still write. For anyone who has a disability, please don’t let it defeat you.

The link on the bottom is about Cerebral Palsy. Just to note , when you have Cerebral Palsy it don’t mean that the person can’t walk. I can walk ,but have some difficulties.
Cerebral Palsy

Also here is a wonderful book by author John W. Quinn. He wrote this book that talked about his life,accomplishments, with mild Cerebral Palsy. Worth reading.
John W. Quinn,

Agents. Qualified literary gatekeepers?

This is a really good blog for other writers who are thinking about being published… another alternative

Indie Hero

A few years ago, Samuel Moffie submitted The Perfect Martini to 100 literary agents. Actually, he submitted 90% of the first twenty pages of Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions disguised as The Perfect Martini. Any guesses on his success rate? 100 out of 100, right? No. Only one agent responded positively, but that’s because the agent recognized the original author. 99 agents declined. Just to be clear, yes, the critically acclaimed, award-winning, nationally revered Kurt Vonnegut. Rejected.

Agents are concerned with commercial viability, that’s first and foremost. Period. Literary quality is a secondary bonus, if present. Now, if Vonnegut wrote a novel where a dominant vampire becomes master to a naive, submissive, shape-shifting werewolf, I’m sure he would have fared better.

Here’s the point. Why spend months, or even years, writing and submitting queries to agents who are clearly looking the other way? If they passed on Kurt Vonnegut, what chance…

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They call me the Hobbit

 

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The only thing I found wrong with this picture is there is no between I’am ….

 

 

My nickname is the Hobbit, and seriously this Meme fits me so well. LilHobbit ,I got through one of my best friends when I was a freshman in High school. It has stuck ever since. My email was LilHobbit, My usernames were LilHobbit, now my MineCraft name Is HungryLilHobbit… No denying it. I’m a hobbit !

I eat all the time, and I’m short as Hell, 4’10”. My boyfriends parents don’t call me by my name ,they call me the Hobbit . You would think I would get mad if they called me that , but quite honestly I’m a very proud Nerd. I’m proud I get called that because quite honestly. How is a Hobbit not cool?? They eat all day, like myself, they can be small and chubby, like myself and they are party like it’s the 2000’s again…. like myself 🙂 My boyfriend thinks I;am the most cutest thing and he asks  “Why the hell are you always Hungry?” Trust me it isn’t that green leaf that Gandalf and Bilbo smoked before Bilbo’s 113 birthday party.

I just always been the type of person to just eat and eat and eat . I never gained a pound , but because now I’m older ,my metabolism is kind of crappy , but I’m slowly loosing weight . I don’t want to loose to much and be a skinny minnie like I used to be. I remember one day when I was in middle school I was really hungry that day . Even though that is nothing new, but that particular day it was seriously munchies, without smoking the pot!! So my mother was making one of my favorite meals at that time. It was grilled cheese with Tomato, and Tomato soup. So I had one sandwich , than another and another, by the time I was almost done I had seven grilled cheese and tomato sandwich, including five bowls of tomato soup. I’m not joking about this story and I would have another one , but my twin sisters home help aide said I would have a heart attack if I didn’t stop eating it. haha So of course I stopped, but I was still hungry afterwards…….

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My best friend, Theresa, verifying my Hobbitism, This is the first day she ever stayed over my house back in middle school.

“The very first time I was ever over your house. It was spaghetti for dinner. Now, I’m a big person and I can eat, but you…are a bottomless pit. I had one, ONE bowl of spaghetti. I’m sitting there eating and talking to you and you get up, and go get another bowl before I’m halfway done with my one bowl. Then, you go get another bowl before I’m done.”

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I seriously could eat that all day long, see my love for it above??? That’s the love of my life besides my boyfriend. I always loved food and my boyfriend knows it and he thinks it is hilarious.

 

I’m a hobbit and proud of it! If I could walk in a cape , with bare feet , I would , but thing is I hate feet . I love Food and partying and food.

 

I’m Hungry Now, so comment below. Ask me questions, tell me how you feel, vent, Tell me a random story….

 

Just leave a God Damn Comment… please 🙂

 

 

 

Facebook … it takes over real communication

So recently I saw this one blog about how this women banned herself from Facebook for a day. I’ll put the blog post at the bottom for anyone to see. I read this person’s post and of course I had to post a comment on it since I really hate Facebook. I just hate it so  very much. When I first joined in 2007, I had fun connecting to friends, finding out what they are doing and so forth. Well,  eventually years later this site got boring. It was all people’s bitching and complaining , same old thing every day. Check Facebook, than check Facebook again, same shit ,same annoying updates. I mean, Facebook does have its good points,you can connect to people that you haven’t heard from in years, you can see what others are doing . BUT , yes a BUT:

Do people now a days depend on Facebook to talk to their friends or family members?

HERE COMES THE STORY:

Last year I finally got a phone after a year and a half without one.  So , I posted on Facebook to message me with their numbers and I would give them my number. So people message me and so forth given me their numbers and I got my contacts in order. Well long story short none of my friends text, or called me within that time period of me having that phone. Guess what they did? Messaged me on Facebook or posted on my wall. At that time I was thinking, Maybe I just have very shitty friends . Then I noticed that they would message me to talk to me. I thought well they have my number why the hell don’t they just call to talk to me? None of them did , so when I got my other phone I just put down people that actually call me and text me.

Now a days people communicate through Facebook way too much. It isn’t hard to call someone to see how they are doing. You cannot rely on Facebook to find out what others are doing. I deleted Facebook twice last year and I went back to it because none of my friends the first time email, text or called me. NONE. I have Facebook now,but that’s only because that is the only way I could now talk to people. I mean for Chris sake, I find out people are engaged through Facebook,or pregnant. I vowed to myself if I ever got pregnant or engaged I won’t put it on Facebook. I don’t want people congratulating through a social networking site. Call me , use the call button, that is what is is for.

Anyone else feel that same way as me??  Here’s the blog I was talking about.

Banned From Facebook For A Day

Poetry Opended up my Creativity

When I was going to college, I dreaded taking my poetry course that was required. I decided to take poetry to get it over with. I remember my first poem, It had butterflies, bees, and flowers. I was more of a story writer myself, but I knew my poem wasn’t fantastic. It was so horrible. I was so scared to show my professor my poem. The first thing I said was ” I don’t write poetry, so this poem is not going to be good.” My professor just looked at me and said “I’m sure it will be fine.” Obviously he knew I wasn’t a poet, just a story writer. He turned to me one day, he said “I know you can do this. Not all poems are about butterflies, rainbows, and flowers. I believe you have such a great talent and I know you can come up with better poems than this. You are a amazing , I know that poet in you is somewhere.”  After that he told me to write a poem about a slaughter house and he loved what I did in that poem. He loved that I basically had such darkness in the poem. After that , I written poems , with no problem. Most of them were dark, others, weren’t as good. I just couldn’t believe poetry brought out a lot of my creativity that was hiding inside me all this time. So much creativity, so much imagination.

I’m proud of myself that now I can call myself a poet.

My family wants to change MY career, MY dreams

 

So stressful. I’m so sick of other’s being “concerned” about what I do with my life. I’m 25 years old , I got a college degree in creative writing and I stay at home watching my nephew. Now, because I’m unemployed at the moment, my family thinks all I do is sit on my ass all day. Well, I watch a 3 year old toddler all day because as I explained in my last post my sister goes to school and works. So, apparently that is sitting on my ass. If any of you are a stay at home mom , then you know the feeling of not getting a break until the kid falls asleep.  I’m not a mom , but an aunt trying to help her sister out as she finishes school. Sounds very generous of me right? Well my family don’t think it is a very generous thing to do because again, they think I haven’t done anything in apparently two years.

 

I had two temporary jobs recently and the last job ended in January of 2014. I don’t get why people are so concerned about other peoples lives. Why does it concern you? Why does it bother you so much  that you think you have to voice your concern about what I should do about my life? It really makes me upset because when I graduated college back in 2011 I thought my family member’s would be proud that I finally got a college degree in something I do like. Obviously I wouldn’t have chosen it .. duh.  Later that year one of my aunts said “You should go back to school, you need to go for Hair styling.” Really? So basically you don’t think my degree , which I worked so hard for , also which is what I want in life , don’t mean squat to you? Well guess what my college degree means A LOT to me. I might not become a best selling author, I might not publish a book right away, but God Dammit this is My Dreams, My Life.

My one family member mailed me stuff about college, nursing programs, and all this stuff she wants me to do with my life. Yes, what she wants me to do. I did thank her , but if I wanted to go for nursing wouldn’t you think that I would have gone when I went to college ? It really , really , really makes me mad NONE of them believe in my degree. NONE, of them believe in me and one day when I get a book published of poetry or even stories, I know , that I proved them wrong. This is my calling, this is my dream to become a author and NOBODY can diminish my dream.

I’m so upset that my family thinks they can just voice their opinion on my life, I’m not lazy, I work my ass off taking care of my nephew , by 8:00 pm I’m so tired, I’m exhausted .  It isn’t like I’m doing crack, being a prostitute on the streets, I’m simply helping my sister out with her son for now.

I guess my family just don;t get I want to live my life they way I want it.