I hear angel’s singing Hallelujah :Finally I’m employed

So as you can tell these past couple of months I have been stressing out about getting a job. Literally worrying every night, when will my day come? I’m going to be unemployed forever, I’ll never find anything. I would think this every night I would go to bed and even when I attempted to fill out an application my anxiety would kick in. I would say out of 100 my anxiety about finding a job was 80. I didn’t have any panic attacks , but at some points I had to finish my application later because it was to much for me at times. Then again , I kind of thank my anxiety in a way because if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have pushed so hard to even find a job. I also had support from my sister , my boyfriend and three of my friends. I thank them for keeping my spirits high  when I really thought I was going to give up. It has been a roller coaster and I think everything that I have went through has led up to this job. It is something I really did want and I’m not stuck working at a retail store.

I’m working at a child care center and ever since my nephew was born I realized how special children are. They are amazing and I love seeing them learn new things everyday. So finally the war I’ve been through is over and I can now have some peace. Seriously people are not kidding when they say job hunting is a job within itself.  

 

To anyone who is about to give up  on job hunting, please don’t and keep reapplying, calling, going to interviews, eventually something will turn up and keep your self esteem up, if you have a negative attitude you wont get anywhere.

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The Man who made the world Ring with laughter:Robin William’s

So I normally don’t do any blog post about celebrities,but Robin William’s was a man that I grew up with and he will always be part of my life.

ROBIN WILLIAMS.

This man gave me many laughs when I was a child. Not only did he give me laughs ,he gave me inspiration to become what I’m today, a poet.  For us 90’s kids he was part of our childhood. Between Mrs.DoubtFire , Jumanji, Aladdin, Hook, and  Flubber, we all know who Mr. William’s was.

 

He  was the Gene in Aladdin who taught us to we would “Never have a friend like him.” It would mostly mean we would never have a special person like him.

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The man who made robots in Flubber and taught us even Goo could become our friend. I used to make flubber in summer camp and I always made it green  because I loved to watch flubber.

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We went on a adventure to Neverland to battle Captain Hook and his mates.He taught us to use our imagination and we all learned we will eventually have to grow up, but deep down inside there will still be a child in all of us.

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We learned even a father will go all sorts of crazy and lengths to spend time with his children, even if he has to dress as a women. In the process of learning to become a women,  his boobs caught on fire. That was always my favorite scene.mrsdoubtfire   Robin made us go on a adventure with a board game Jumanji. I was so scared to play a board game after I watched this movie. Fortunately, I watched this a thousand times when I was a child and my little brother’s first word was “Jumanji”.

tumblr_na616mqwZl1r3q6oqo6_500   WHAT YEAR IS IT?!

 

 

Last  , but not least he inspired me in the Dead Poets Society. I was only in 7th grade watching this in theater arts class, and this movie moved me towards writing.  He reminds me of my poetry professor that I had in college , but most importantly this movie inspired me to write poetry.

 

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He taught us in The Dead Poets Society “No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.”

 

Most importantly Robin taught us laughter. Laughter to make everything better. His personality and comfort to other’s was something to special to people. Not only this man gave us laughter , but he inspired many other people around the world.  Robin was special to all of us and Robin will always live on .

 

Mr. Robin William’s,

I would like to thank you for the laughs  when I was down. You helped me get back up in a time in my life when I felt nothing really mattered. You inspired me to become a better person and to always keep laughing.Thank you Robin, you will always have a place in everyone’s heart.  You will keep us laughing and now you will make the Angles laugh in the skies. The stars will shine a little brighter , knowing there is a amazing man , still making other’s laugh.  Rest In peace.

 

Worrying constantly :Mild Cerebral Palsy

Three days ago marked the one year of making this blog, Aug 5,2013,I have 61 followers . I know 61 isn’t a lot of followers , but to me that makes me happy to know other bloggers and writers are liking my work.Thank you for your support and many likes on my blog. It means a lot to me. ❤

 

Anyways,

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As I’am getting older I’am starting to realize my disability is becoming worse.  I can’t remember if I told you guys I do have a disability. I might have said I had a learning disability, but I do have a physical disability as well. I have Mild Cerebral Palsy. If you don’t know what that is I’ll give you a link below.

Cerebral Palsy

Mild Cerebral Palsy

Now later in my life I realize my hands are more curved in and not straight like “normal” people, even my feet are curved out. It doesn’t prevent me from walking normally , but sometimes I do catch myself walking on my toes and my parents, mostly my dad, seems to yell at me to get off of my toes. I kind of smile at him because it reminds me when I was a little girl I would get told constantly not to walk on my toes.

I haven’t had physical therapy since I was 12 years old , but I realized my leg pain is sometimes unbearable. I do have a solution for others with the same cerebral palsy as me. Use TIGER BALM. Tiger balm is like Icey Hot, but it is in a small container. I usually put the tiger balm where my hamstrings are because that is were most of the the tightness in my legs are. For others, who are reading and don’t have this condition, I will explain how bad my leg pain can get. For those who have Cerebral Palsy you can understand my pain.

Well I would say it is like a rubber band stretching out and in constantly, but slowly.  It is this dull annoying  pain, that keeps me up at night and I loose sleep over it. I would describe that the cold winter and rain are my worst enemy. This is the reason why I do hate winter. My sister calls me the weather detector. My legs can tell when it is going to rain, or snow hours before or minutes before. I start to get pain in my knee and then it goes down behind the hamstrings.

I’ve been realizing a lot of knee pain lately and I never had that pain before in my knees. I’ve been trying to look up if anyone had the same symptoms I had and most of them had pain in their knees,  I’m starting to think my cerebral palsy will become worse when I get older. I brought my considers to my loving boyfriend Marvin and I was about to cry when i told him my worries.

He held my hand and said “Stretch , keep active , and don’t worry about your condition. If you need more information go to a doctor and see what they will tell you. ”  He hugged and kissed me to help me not worry. He is a wonderful support and he actually saw through  my disability . He doesn’t see me as a person with a disability. He see’s me as a wonderful , loving women, who cares about family, and friends.  I think there should be more people like him. Most people, including employers , interviewers, or just strangers, cannot see past my disability. I realize not to even tell coworkers, or people who hire because they will think I’am not capable of what I can do. 

I think I can do anything, I was a firefighter for SEVEN years and I’am only 4’10”. I think that is saying something, that I could do anything that everyone else does, I just need extra help with some things. Yes, I’m very short, my boyfriend calls me Hobbit.

I think if Frodo can bring the ring to Mordor, I think I can accomplish anything despite my height and my disability.