I feel like I’m getting pulled in to many different directions

I’m sure most of you have felt that way, but recently that is how my life has been. Yes, I watch my nephew , but it has been so hectic when others tell you what you should do with your life. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and say “Fuck all of you.”  ,but inside I cannot because I’m the type to not say anything. I recently just got back my babysitting job and I start next week. It is only for a little while , but it is worth it. I love watching the kid that I’m providing care for. He is the most amazing child I have ever taken care of. I mean now people can say I haven’t been unemployed for two years, in reality I have been unemployed for three months. I’m just sick of people telling me what I should do with my life, I mean it shouldn’t concern them

Right now I’m trying to occupy myself with my eBook I’m writing and it is coming along well. I’m still editing and writing more poems as it comes along. So hopefully by this year I will have this eBook published and hopefully others will like and read my poetry. I know it is self publishing , but it is something that I really want to do. It is my baby as of right now and I’m working so hard on my poems . So very hard and it takes so much effort. That’s why people don’t understand how hard it is to be creative. I’m being creative with words, I’m just not published yet. I know one day I will be published and my dream will be completed.

I just need everyone to stop rushing me into things I don’t want to do, I need them to understand I love writing and that is my passion. They think I cannot make anything of it ,but one day I will prove them wrong. I just need them to believe in my ability to be published. Is that so much to ask for?

I think I will make it. I know I will and that is what keeping me going and not give up on my dreams.

 

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My family wants to change MY career, MY dreams

 

So stressful. I’m so sick of other’s being “concerned” about what I do with my life. I’m 25 years old , I got a college degree in creative writing and I stay at home watching my nephew. Now, because I’m unemployed at the moment, my family thinks all I do is sit on my ass all day. Well, I watch a 3 year old toddler all day because as I explained in my last post my sister goes to school and works. So, apparently that is sitting on my ass. If any of you are a stay at home mom , then you know the feeling of not getting a break until the kid falls asleep.  I’m not a mom , but an aunt trying to help her sister out as she finishes school. Sounds very generous of me right? Well my family don’t think it is a very generous thing to do because again, they think I haven’t done anything in apparently two years.

 

I had two temporary jobs recently and the last job ended in January of 2014. I don’t get why people are so concerned about other peoples lives. Why does it concern you? Why does it bother you so much  that you think you have to voice your concern about what I should do about my life? It really makes me upset because when I graduated college back in 2011 I thought my family member’s would be proud that I finally got a college degree in something I do like. Obviously I wouldn’t have chosen it .. duh.  Later that year one of my aunts said “You should go back to school, you need to go for Hair styling.” Really? So basically you don’t think my degree , which I worked so hard for , also which is what I want in life , don’t mean squat to you? Well guess what my college degree means A LOT to me. I might not become a best selling author, I might not publish a book right away, but God Dammit this is My Dreams, My Life.

My one family member mailed me stuff about college, nursing programs, and all this stuff she wants me to do with my life. Yes, what she wants me to do. I did thank her , but if I wanted to go for nursing wouldn’t you think that I would have gone when I went to college ? It really , really , really makes me mad NONE of them believe in my degree. NONE, of them believe in me and one day when I get a book published of poetry or even stories, I know , that I proved them wrong. This is my calling, this is my dream to become a author and NOBODY can diminish my dream.

I’m so upset that my family thinks they can just voice their opinion on my life, I’m not lazy, I work my ass off taking care of my nephew , by 8:00 pm I’m so tired, I’m exhausted .  It isn’t like I’m doing crack, being a prostitute on the streets, I’m simply helping my sister out with her son for now.

I guess my family just don;t get I want to live my life they way I want it.