I feel like I’m getting pulled in to many different directions

I’m sure most of you have felt that way, but recently that is how my life has been. Yes, I watch my nephew , but it has been so hectic when others tell you what you should do with your life. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and say “Fuck all of you.”  ,but inside I cannot because I’m the type to not say anything. I recently just got back my babysitting job and I start next week. It is only for a little while , but it is worth it. I love watching the kid that I’m providing care for. He is the most amazing child I have ever taken care of. I mean now people can say I haven’t been unemployed for two years, in reality I have been unemployed for three months. I’m just sick of people telling me what I should do with my life, I mean it shouldn’t concern them

Right now I’m trying to occupy myself with my eBook I’m writing and it is coming along well. I’m still editing and writing more poems as it comes along. So hopefully by this year I will have this eBook published and hopefully others will like and read my poetry. I know it is self publishing , but it is something that I really want to do. It is my baby as of right now and I’m working so hard on my poems . So very hard and it takes so much effort. That’s why people don’t understand how hard it is to be creative. I’m being creative with words, I’m just not published yet. I know one day I will be published and my dream will be completed.

I just need everyone to stop rushing me into things I don’t want to do, I need them to understand I love writing and that is my passion. They think I cannot make anything of it ,but one day I will prove them wrong. I just need them to believe in my ability to be published. Is that so much to ask for?

I think I will make it. I know I will and that is what keeping me going and not give up on my dreams.

 

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Deciding if I should go with a Pen name? Not sure..

I’m in the works writing a book, a poetry book and I’m deciding if I want to go with a Pen name or not.I have said I always wanted a pen name, but to think I’m getting followers on here, it makes me confused. I do like my privacy. “If” my books becomes big I rather have a quite life. I mean it would be great , but I’m more about privacy than being known. Thing is if I have a pen name, that means I have to make a new blog, Facebook pages, twitter account, email, and all that other junk. I want my family to be proud of me that I’m finally getting something published (even if it is self publishing) It will make them see I’m doing something with my writing.
There is always the alternative of telling them about my pen name , but not revealing my real name in the public. I’m very confused , but I feel that I will have to do an extra step to keep my privacy Private.Any input? Comment below Please.. Thank you

Writing with a disability

I have written many manuscripts ,but never submitted any of my manuscripts to publishers. You may be asking why wouldn’t you? It is quite simple… well I’m to critical about my writing. I know I am not the best writer in the world. I have problems with English grammar. It is because of my cerebral palsy. If you are wondering what that is , I’ll give you a link below. Cerebral means it has to do with your brain.  The way I could explain my disability is when I try to learn basic ,like for instance basic English, or other subjects, my brain basically “refuses” that information.  You could teach me so many times, the same information and my brain don’t want anything to do with that information. You might think that sounds frustrating.. well it really is frustrating.

It was frustrating in college because none of my classmates knew about my disability and they wouldn’t always say my writing was horrible, well not always ,but sometimes they would. I’m not trying to say just because I have a disability everyone should be sympathetic. I don’t want that , I want people to know how hard I worked to write a certain poem or story. It should show in the work.  Despite my disability, I know I’m a very strong writer (even if I’m critical) because my poetry professor has told me many times that he believes in me. Everyone that I showed my work to,  says I’m  a good writer, so everyone verified that they believing in me. I’m glad I have support because they know I have a disability and despite that disability I still write. For anyone who has a disability, please don’t let it defeat you.

The link on the bottom is about Cerebral Palsy. Just to note , when you have Cerebral Palsy it don’t mean that the person can’t walk. I can walk ,but have some difficulties.
Cerebral Palsy

Also here is a wonderful book by author John W. Quinn. He wrote this book that talked about his life,accomplishments, with mild Cerebral Palsy. Worth reading.
John W. Quinn,